Feeling ashamed results from embarrassment and relates closely with feeling guilty. Shame can mistakenly be caused by what you've been keeping as a secret or any negative talk about you by other people.
Here are common shameful moments and how you can handle them to feel better.
1. Revealed Secrets
Having your personal secret information known to other people can feel much embarrassing. According to Micheal L. Slepian, a clinical psychologist, analyst and an author cited by the American Psychological Association (APA), a large percentage of people have at least a very harmful secret.
On his report, following research on 1,000 participants according to APA, Slepian stated, "We discovered shame and guilt, which are the two most studied self-conscious emotions."
Secrets can be so confidential in a way that one may fail to share in a lifetime because they make one feel guilty and shameful when revealed. According to health organizations, it is wrong to share someone's health status without their consent, even with doctors. It is wrong to share someone's confidential information without their consent.
2. Violating Social and Moral Norms
As reported by National Institute of Health (NIH) on their analysis and data, going against the moral norms leads shame in children who are 3 years old and above for they have a good understanding of what is morality. The research psychologist believes that shame and self-esteem are much related. A kid who can differentiate good and evil things which violates morals will feel shameful and that can also lead to having a low self-esteem.
Young children should be motivated instead of ashamed if they violate any moral. Research shows that kids need more lessons on what really morals entail and what they should do to avoid going against them.
3. Shame due to Addiction
If one has developed a negative addiction such as being a drug abuser, they are likely to feel ashamed when he/she is among the people. According to a psychologist and an author, Michael L Slepian in his novel, 'The Secret Life of Secrets', he once did a research to 50,000 people and he realized that many people are secretive and shameful due to addictions and also health matters. Following his research, it's evident that shame is one of the things that lead someone become secretive besides other reasons.
According to psychologist, you can recover from this situation by sharing your secret with a trustworthy person who can counsel you or advise on how to overcome the shame. Before approaching someone and sharing your secrets, consider how trustful the person can keep confidential information especially if it concerns health matters.
Disclaimer: This story is for informational purposes only.
Story updated on: September 8, 2026 by John Muia | InstandTrend
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John Muia is the founder and Editor in InstandTrend. The Journalist is experienced with skills in creative writing, news coverage and fact-checking in digital and print media.